Being injured - Canceling shows... fuck!
Everything slows down, you only have one focus, all your worries become background noise to the main event. Do I cancel? Ow my fucking neck!
No one ever wants to cancel a show. Not even thinking of the financial gain or loss. To go from a sign outside the venue saying "SOLD OUT" to one saying "CANCELED". Why, what. how? Those questions don't get answered, all you get is the "CANCELED" sign. A big sign saying CANCELED... who knows why?
I've had plenty of injuries as a performer. It's normal for me to be carrying some kind of injury. This time last year at the same festival I had landed on our trolley during a show and busted my leg. I was icing my leg before and after every show... icing up to my groin by sticking it in a bin full of ice. That was cold... so cold... but we always had ice back stage for drinks! I did that for three weeks and never canceled a show. Sunday night I had to cancel my first show on tour ever!
If you play sports, if your a circus performer, if you are using your body at an extreme level day after day you can expect to get injured. There is never a good time to get injured, on or off tour, never a good time, really being injured is no fun.
To cancel a show is a big decision, like I said you don't want a cancelation sign outside you venue, it doesn't look good. We try to make the right decisions for ourselves, for the people around us for the flow our life is taking and for our bodies. So it sounds simple, your injured, to prevent further injury cancel the show. But so many times I have still performed with injuries, this time its just a bit more severe. I have a bulging disc in my neck... sounds bad eh... its pretty shit but it can repair and these are the risks we work under.
Being a physical and circus performer is fun, we jump around, jump over and under each other and do things that seem impossible to people who don't do them. We look after our bodies because we have to use them, circus performers generally have long careers, into their forties, fifties and beyond. Sometimes we get injured, its no ones fault, it just happens and sometimes its bad enough to cancel a show, no matter how much we don't want to cancel we have to.
I'm thinking I might wear a neck brace for the rest of the run, and maybe for ever, they are very comfortable!
So what do we get to learn out of it, well my posture is very good and will have to stay so cause like my housemate says I have to walk around like a Queen for the next three weeks and for ever. I wish I didn't have to cancel but at least I get be a Queen who wears a neck brace during my show while doing acrobatics.