Edinburgh... is being here good enough?
Its a frustrating mess... there are 3000 shows here and most of them are worth a look. Ten percent are going to be amazing... thats still 300 shows... Taking into account that I'm doing, including our own show about 20 shows a week, trying to eat well, trying to see friends, unwinding after doing so many shows/partying and you need to sleep more because it all has you exhausted. Everyone gets sick in some way, they loose their voice, wake up with a broken knee, get swollen feet, go home and need to check into rehab. We are all here chasing the golden fleece, there are stars to be had, awards to be won, dreams to be crushed and spirits to be broken.
Edinburgh is savage and cruel, it beats you with its stick of success and you say, thank you may I have some more. And then you see some shows that blow your mind, remind you why you are a performer and give you contemporaries to look up to. Shows that make you question your own work and make you strive for more from yourself... brilliant! The frustration comes because you do want more. You want to see more shows, you want more stars, you want to be beaten with the stick of success and drink it all in until six in the morning. But you can't, your seven years old in the sweet shop that has everything, you can smell it all you can even touch it but all you have is a ten pence piece, and you want everything.
I'll come back again next year. Loose a month of earnings to be in with a shot... a shot of what? You have to know what you want or you will never get it and you will want everything else. Have really clear objectives and it is possible, if you don't you'll end up walking around with a stone up your arse thinking everyone else is doing better than you... the truth is they are thinking just the same thing.