9 days and 20 shows into Edinburgh Fringe. I was kinda petrified coming here. Its been a really busy year and apart from making the show I didn't feel like I had prepared for the onslaught. Physical exhaustion, mental exhaustion and the constant pressure of "success".
But this year I am having a good time... I'm actually enjoying myself and thinking I wouldn't want to miss it next year.
What happened, how can this be? Previous years I have been wrecked, dreaded some shows and constantly have to justify to myself why I was there. But in those years I based success externally. Are we selling out? What are the reviews saying? Are we losing money? This year I have as much as possible tried to separate myself from the financial side of it, checking how many people have bought tickets or worrying what our external success looks like. It's kinda like burying my head under a rock so I can have a good time. But that's what is needed. If I am stressed and worried the shows are not going to be good. I am constantly changing the show, adding extra lines, cutting bits that I don't like. And to do that you need to have a bit of clarity, if I am stressed I get paranoid about what is good or not. If I'm not stressed I do better shows, I can see more clearly how to improve them, the audience leaves happy I leave happy its a snowball effect and its has been a snowball effect in the other direction at other times.
The show "Late Night TV Talk Show" is going great, I think its is the best thing we have made. And when making it we made it so that it would be fun to preform. "Have Fun in what you do" I know it is very cliquey but so are most of the most simple self preservation things in life, "Love yourself" "Scrub your armpits" "Floss" all cliquey"s, all good for us, but do we do them all the time? This year in Edinburgh I'm enjoying my shows, loving myself and flossing (sometimes).
Be good to yourselves friends and enjoy life